Recently a friend at church told me I was beautiful. The idea seemed so foreign to me. As I realized this person was serious, it brought tears to my eyes. The fact that I can't remember the last time someone told me this is even sadder. 

Growing up, I'd never thought that I was beautiful. Everything around me in my culture told me I wasn't. I was that pudgy kid with a fractured self-confidence. I lost my father at fifteen and the rest of my family are bean poles, which doesn't lend much understanding. It's no secret that I inherited my father's genes and gain weight easily. I'm not sure I really would have heard my mother even if she'd said I was beautiful. Even so, I'd would have still loved to hear the words. 

My mom always encouraged me to eat better. Because of this, I think I felt guilty over food because I couldn't measure up. What I now understand is that it was her way of trying to teach me because she loved me and wanted me to be healthy. I also realize at the time she may not have had a good understand what it means to gain or lose weight. Sure, she may understand now, but I don't live with her anymore so I don't know. Either way, she seems to have gained more understanding for the struggle that most of us face in regards to weight gain. She doesn't hound me about it anymore. I hope she sees that I'm making an effort to change how I eat and live. I'd like to think she's proud of me. Tho...she never says that either.

Weight is a touchy issue for many people. A focus needs to shift from a person's weight to a need for healthy living and renewing body image. These two go hand in hand and are really the big issues with weight gain/loss. How we see ourselves plays a huge part in how we take care of and carry ourselves. Undoing the years of bad body image takes time. It starts with affirmation. 

Dear friend who called me beautiful, thank you for this. You don't realize what a difference it made to me. Thank you for speaking words of life.